School refusal can be incredibly distressing—for both your child and you. When a neurodivergent child is struggling to attend school, understanding and compassionate support are essential. Here are some steps you can take to navigate this situation.
Understand the Reasons
Start by trying to understand why your child is finding school difficult:
- Sensory overwhelm – noise, lighting, smells, or busy environments
- Social difficulties or experiences with bullying
- Academic pressure or lack of necessary learning support
- Anxiety about certain activities or transitions
- Issues with teaching style or relationships with specific staff
If your child finds verbal communication hard, try other methods like drawing, writing, or using AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) tools.
Immediate Steps
- Contact the school: Let them know your child is struggling. Request a meeting with key staff (e.g. form teacher, SENCO, inclusion lead, or head of year).
- Seek medical advice: Speak to your GP. They can refer you to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) or other support teams.
- Document everything: Keep a record of all communications, your child’s symptoms, emotional state, and absences. This can be vital if further support or legal backing is needed.
Working with the School
1. Request an SEN Review
If your child has an EHCP (Education, Health and Care Plan), ask for a review. If they don’t have one but need more support, you can request an assessment.
2. Reasonable Adjustments
Under the Equality Act 2010, schools have a duty to make reasonable adjustments. Examples include:
- Sensory breaks
- Quiet spaces or designated calm areas
- Visual timetables or predictable routines
- Modified or flexible curriculum
- Phased or supported return to school
3. Explore Alternative Provision
- Part-time timetable: A short-term arrangement to reduce overwhelm
- Alternative education provision: Each local authority has different support structures for children who cannot attend mainstream school
- Home education: A legal option in the UK, with optional local authority support
Legal Considerations
1. Attendance
While school attendance is a legal requirement, schools are expected to work collaboratively with families of children with medical needs or disabilities, not apply punitive measures like fines without addressing support first.
2. Know Your Rights
The SEND Code of Practice outlines your child’s right to appropriate education and support tailored to their individual needs.
Support Organisations
• National Autistic Society
• IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice)
• SENDISS (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Information Support Services)
• Contact (for families with disabled children)
• Local parent carer forums